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Author Archives: loustow

The Justice League of Northern North America

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A Trubama fanfic. Obama and Trudeau are superheroes with a panda sidekick. I don’t know why.

Justin Trudeau Barack Obama

 

When the cameras were gone, Obama turned to Trudeau. “Shall we now get to the real point of your visit?”

“Making sweet passionate love?” Trudeau’s boyish blue eyes sparkled.

Obama’s smile-lines crinkled. “I was gonna say, defeating our arch nemesis, but, that could work too.”

“Get an Oval Office, guys,” said the adorable fluffy panda sitting in the corner. “I’m sitting right here. Don’t sully my innocent panda ears.”

“You’re kidding, right?” said Trudeau. He turned to Obama. “You should’ve heard this one’s potty mouth after she met Rob Ford.”

Obama brushed a tousled curl away from the Canadian’s perfect face. “Well. Panda sensibilities aside, we need to make a plan to defeat him.”

“We could hug him until he becomes a better person?” suggested Panda.

The President and the Prime Minister exchanged sad glances. “If only the world worked like that,” said Obama.

“Can I have a hug to make me feel better?” asked Panda.

“Oh, go on then.”

Obama, Trudeau and Panda all hugged. It’s a good thing the internet wasn’t there. It might have shattered into a million pieces.

After an hour’s serious discussion, and more hugging, the trio had a plan to defeat their evil nemesis. All they had to do was set the trap.

A few hours later, they lay in wait, hiding behind a stage set with a number of podiums.

“Are you sure he’ll show?” whispered Trudeau.

“He can never resist a debate,” whispered Obama. “It’s like catnip to him.”

Sure enough, moments later, Trump appeared, lurching onto the stage in an exoskeleton made out of hair. “I AM HERE TO DEBATE YOU AND TELL YOU ABOUT MY WIENER!” he screeched. “NO MEXICANS! I AM THE GREATEST!@

“NOW!” Obama commander.

“Yessir Captain Potus!” agreed Trudeau.

The two heroes – and their panda sidekick – launched into attack mode. Their spandex outfits glistened under the harsh studio lighting. (The panda was not in spandex. That would look ridiculous.)

“Take that!” cried Captain Potus. He threw a bolt of blue light at Trump, setting fire to his hairy exoskeleton.

“And that!” cried Captain Canada, sending waves of sparkles in a cloud that enveloped Trump, lifting him off the ground so that his legs dangled pathetically.

“I love you, Trump, even though you’re a mean man,” called Panda, blowing kisses. “I love everyone. Look at me. I’m adorable.”

With one more bolt of pure blue light, Trump disappeared in a puff of evil.

“We did it!” cried Panda. Then, looking a little doubtful. “You didn’t kill him, did you?”

“Nope,” said Obama. “We just sent him to a parallel universe where everyone is as hateful as him and each person is surrounded by a wall a mile high. And made of hair.”

“Well, that’s ok,” said Panda.

And they all hugged and hugged and the internet exploded, happily ever after.

 

Save Lambeth Libraries! Save astronauts!

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I spent last Saturday morning in Brixton Library, running a mini astronaut training camp as part of Fun Palaces. We did a spot of physical training, ate bugs to prove we were tough enough to survive in the wild after a spaceship crash landing, and designed astronaut mission patches.

The library staff were brilliant – great with the kids, supportive and helpful. So when I discovered that cuts are looming for Lambeth Libraries it seemed incredibly cruel – cutting amazing community resources like this, staffed by knowledgable professionals. I really hope this gets reversed.

If you have a moment, would you consider writing an email to the council member who’s apparently behind the decision?

Cllr Jane Edbrooke at  jedbrooke@lambeth.gov.uk

If you want to know more, the proposals are here – the meeting is on Monday, so if you could email today that would be incredible:

Proposals

Some photos from the Fun Palace – just a little slice of what’s at stake. (Though on a normal day, the library isn’t full of insects…)
   
    
    
    
   

Please judge my book by this cover

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Source: Please judge my book by this cover

Chigozie Obioma’s The Fishermen – and sordid tales

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Ikhide

Chigozie Obioma’s debut work of fiction, The Fishermen, Chigozie Obioma’s is a work of muscular industry and prodigy, and it is also an incredibly frustrating book, more on that later.  Obioma is one powerful storyteller. In this book, things fall apart in the worst possible way, over and over again for a Nigerian family of eight, with the first four sons the chief protagonists in this story from hell. This unusual book documents the family’s free fall into one grim tragedy after the other. This family is a country song, a sad country song.  The Fishermen is a powerful and tragic coming of age book and Obioma writes as if he is looking through hell’s windows. As an aside, Obioma is incredibly well-read, his vocabulary is intimidating; that alone is enough reason to buy the book, your SAT scores will soar.

The book is a tightly woven six-pack abs…

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A new job for Kate

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Really excited to hear about Kate Manning’s new job at The Phoenix. So I drew fanart: feat. Monkey from Bunny vs Monkey.  

 

Schools in the UK Are Now Asking Muslim Children to Fill Out “Counter-Extremism” Tests

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Schools in the UK Are Now Asking Muslim Children to Fill Out “Counter-Extremism” Tests

Media Diversified

by Ananya Rao-Middleton

Over the past couple of days, this photograph of a questionnaire/survey given to primary school children in East London has been widely circulated on social media.

“Counter Extremism” survey administered to primary school pupils in London “Counter Extremism” survey administered to primary school pupils in London

Statement from the executive head teacher of Buxton school, which is one in a number of schools involved in the pilot programme funded by the European Commission (source: Twitter)

It has been described as a ‘counter-extremism’ survey, consisting of undeniably loaded questions aimed at discerning the religious, ethical and even patriotic beliefs of the children taking part. Worse still, it is evident that this survey is undoubtedly intended for Muslim children primarily, who will continue to undergo interrogation of this kind as part of the new legal obligations upheld by educational institutions, consisting of monitoring potential ‘extremists’, as dictated by the Counter-Terrorism and Security Bill that recently passed in parliament. This survey, and its wider implications of…

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Soyuz TMA-15M departure from ISS

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Paper space station (and other space station) models – love these.

AXM Paper Space Scale Models Blog

The Soyuz TMA-15M carrying Anton Shkaplerov, Terry Virts and Samantha Cristoforetti, undocked from the Space Station on Thursday June 11, 2015 and landed in Kazakhstan after spending 200 days in space.

The three crew members became the first ISS crew to enjoy freshly brewed coffee in space and they started a major reconfiguration of the orbiting outpost for upcoming Commercial Crew Missions that will ring in a new era in space flight.

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ISS model depicting the Soyuz TMA-15M in preparation to undock from the Rassvet Russian module

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The Soyuz TMA-15M crew ship undocking from ISS

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ISS configuration post Expedition 43 return

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ISS Russian segment with available docking ports for the next upcoming Soyuz crew and Progress vessels

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